Driving metaphors have been cropping up in conversations and meditations. One of the first ones came during my weekly meditation group. It was to explain why a bit of quiet each day is good for you. Healing in its use.
Put yourself in neutral for a few minutes each day. Take a reset. Most of us are in reverse or drive as the two predominate gears. Neutral is different than park. Park is stationary, but neutral is only a momentary pause and allows you to idle for a bit. Think of it as waiting at a light or for someone outside a store. Simply in a state of momentary suspension. You are still in action, but on pause, yet not at a complete standstill. It is a good example of being in the present because at any moment you can shift into another gear and get on with life.
This is quiet or meditation or contemplation or whatever you want to call it to allow yourself a bit of a reset. We all need a reset in our day. You can take many during the day or simply one time in the morning or just before falling asleep. Perhaps you can use it as a midday break. The good news is that it does not matter when you choose to shift into neutral, only that you do.
Earlier this week I was talking with a friend about dealing with the tween in their life. Such a charming age for all parties concerned. For the tween it is confusing time of hormones and individuation and believing you should be in control and having to deal with clueless adults who are trying to micromanage your life. The parents and other adults find it confusing as well because the human they have known seems to have disappeared and been replaced with a surly, recalcitrant being from another dimension.
The driving analogy cropped up again. As the adult attempting to herd their “tween cats” it is frustrating and filled with endless new boundaries and pitfalls. For the adolescent you are a control freak bent on ruining their life. We have all been the kid and most of us have also been the adult watching in confusion and horror. Why not explain it with driving?
Explain that you understand they believe the adults are driving the narrative and rules, but in actuality the adults part is setting boundaries and warning where the photo radar is set up. If you do this, then these are consequences. If you do that, here are some other outcomes to consider. When the promised consequences meet the behavior, the person in control is the tween. They are the driver. If you don’t want to get the ticket; change the habit. Slow your roll. Take another route. Back it up. When they find themselves in “park” with their license suspended, it is their choices. You are simply the enforcement agency.
Take some of this out for a spin. May the road ahead be full of promise.
