From This Vantage Point

On the dog walk this week I was replaying some of the more stressful, anxiety producing and judgmental moments from my life story.  I have a number from which to choose.

As I first unpacked one especially large memory, I could feel the vintage distress rising to the surface. The umbrage and outrage, though muted, were still there. The sarcastic laugh as I again found myself to be the smart and clever one and the despair about others choices. It was warm and familiar, and it was a high horse upon which I have ridden for 30 years.

Then my mind chose to show me a different view. Suddenly the scenario shifted and it was pointed out to me that if things had gone as I had suggested and believed to be “the right way,” my life would in actuality have not taken the amazing turns that it did and I would now not be in the place I find myself. It was a stunning moment for me.

None of us know how things will turn out in the middle of living through it. Things that seem wonderful can turn on a dime or go sour quickly. Events that seem cataclysmic and dark can, with distance, be seen as a gift that puts you on a road that leads to a better place or an outcome you could only imagine.

For years when working with clients and friends, I have repeated my mantra about how none of us know the life tapestry we are weaving. What seems to be a gaping black abyss in the moment may simply be a shadow from a beautiful tree or the eye of someone we love.

Most of us are wired for cataclysmic thinking. Our families, schools and churches help to show us all the ways things can go wrong or how we have made mistakes. My darling husband Bob once said to me as I was ruing some choice, “In order to make a mistake you had to be doing something and doing things is what life is all about. So be happy and move on.”

He was my very own guru, so I am sticking with his suggestion. Let go and move on and when you look back, find the pinnacle rather than the pit.