Generosity

I just returned from five fabulous days visiting friends in the Bay area. They have been in my life for forty-five plus years. I met her before him. She was briefly dating my sister’s ex-boyfriend. I kept her. Then she met him. An orthodontist with four pre-teen and teenage children. They added two more children to the mix.

They lived in a wonderful 5,000 square foot Victorian on a walkable street. It was always undergoing some sort of reconfiguration to accommodate the ever-changing needs of a family with six children. The kitchen was phenomenal, huge and equipped with a restaurant grade range. It also produced the most delicious and amazing meals. They ran a cooking school out of it, but both of them possess the gift of looking in the refrigerator and finding whatever is there and creating some mouthwatering dish. The house was always a beehive of activity that was not just the children, but all of us lucky enough to inhabit their world.

There are many of us in their orbit. Friends, neighbors, friends of friends, children, family and the occasional “just passing through.” I believe each of us feels special in the way one does when invited into an exclusive group or club. To know that there exists a magical clubhouse managed by them and that you can request visitation.

They have had many residences since the large Victorian. Apartments, rental homes and a fabulous compound in the wine country that had a guest house with a Moroccan Room and an Oriental Room. The farmhouse table that ran the length of the kitchen area was often occupied by some of the many orbiters. There would be breadmaking, singing, winery tours and thrift/vintage shopping. All of the homes are curated with objects (please use the French pronunciation) and wonderful books to lose yourself in for an afternoon or a week. Conversation is fast paced, fascinating and enlivening.

This last visit was once again a kaleidoscope of activity and people. A day in San Francisco as they watered plants for a friend which allowed for a flood of memories as I soaked in the chilly air, the familiar views and marveled at the sunny day. A quick Trader Joe stop to ready for the next day’s lunch as “the kid” and her boyfriend were coming visit. Lunch ran for four and a half hours because the “kids,” just like me did not appear to want to leave. They stood on the driveway with their freshly roasted coffee stating they hoped to return. The implied application to this exclusive club on their lips. Just as the clean-up began, her brother and partner arrived for what was happy hour which turned into dinner and a lot of laughter. The next day a quiet start and more friends, then another houseguest arrived from Montana followed by more wonderful food and conversation.

I marveled at people who lead such a life of connection and sharing and yet are in no way co-dependent. Rather the opposite, wonderfully independent and complete unto themselves. It is a study in generosity, inclusion and welcome that has spanned a lifetime. Enough for everyone and always room at the table. It is a gift to be able to live your lives with such open arms and minds and space. I am grateful to be at the table, along for the ride and wrapped up in the love.