Jo

A friend of mine shuffled off this mortal coil this week. It was the end of six years living with ovarian cancer. Luckily most of those were pretty good years filled with pickle ball, meeting new people and making them laugh and feel seen.

That was her gift – seeing people.  Seeing in them things they might not have known they possessed or did not believe they could develop.  She spent her years in photojournalism as a shooter but more importantly as an editor.  Gifted with an ability to see just the ‘right” shot, she created amazing Pulitzer news spreads and Presidential moments. Her career spanned newspapers, AP, the White House (twice), and a President’s Library. She helped the industry transition from film to digital.

As I have read the tributes to her from fellow “shooters” the pervasive theme has been “She gave me my career – she gave a kid a chance – she saw something in me and helped me develop.”  As I mentioned, she had a good eye.

She also possessed a trait that exists in many, the inability to see her own gifts. Her vision was always focused outward, seeing the good in others but rarely in herself. It seemed she was always on the run from something or maybe she was chasing it. The “it” being herself.

I watched her spread joy, laughter, caring and a helping hand to others. She could feel their fear, pain, insecurities and find a way to redirect their negative self-talk or to tap into their gifts. Her take on the world was wry and biting and ridiculously funny. She could make you laugh until you cried, but like the songs say it was a mask she wore to protect the sadness and loathing inside.

It is hard to have friends like her because just as she did for others, you could see the good in her. The talent. The gifts. The empathy. The strength. But she never believed you when you pointed them out. Somehow, she did not deserve the recognition or accolades. If you got too close, she had to push you away or explain to you the myriads of reasons you were wrong. To herself she was never enough and yet to many she meant the world.