Kindness

I have always known I came here to bring happiness. An astrologer told me that I came here to bring joy. They are synonymous, so I will take it.  I also came here to be kind which is why the only keepsake from seeing the Dalai Lama is a bumper sticker that states “My religion is kindness.”

I have not always been all these things. It stems from being human and reacting to other humans, but I have tried. One of my talents is being the voice on the other end of the phone. Everyone needs that. The person they can call day or night to talk them through something or down off the cliff.  An ear that they can use to talk through their fear, upset, anger, confusion. A co-creator for their dreams. A mini-mastermind group.

Through it all I have also tried to make them laugh and see the humor in the travails and fears and upsets. Life is huge and in your face when you are in the moment. It can feel overwhelming. An earthquake hits and our worlds are rocked and then the tsunami hits and we all need a soothing voice to say, “This too will pass.”

Another go-to is to share with people when I too have screwed up, made a mess of things, been frightened or an ass. We all have done it, but we are often too ashamed to admit our mistakes, frailties and lack of humanity. That is a dangerous place because when we cannot look at ourselves and be honest and vulnerable enough to share our darkness as well as our light, we become ashamed. Shame is toxic and useless because it is judging something you have already done. If you did it and realize that it was not in your highest and best interest or someone else’s, just don’t do it again. Learn the lesson and get on with life.

Many who know me know that I am not interested in apologies. To quote a number of teachers I have had, “Sorry only sets you up to do it again.” If you have done something that you believe deserves an apology, acknowledge the behavior and then don’t do it again. Learn the lesson – it bears repeating.

The codependence part which is what started this blog has a part in this. I no longer wade into many of the situations I witness.  I can still see the need, but I now realize that my seeing the need does not make it necessary for me to intervene.  Most of the time I wait and see if I am asked. It has become easier with practice and with the knowledge that I cannot know what someone else’s soul needs. It has not really changed the desire, but it has changed delivery.