Life’s A Balance Beam
It is an interesting balance having a strong respect for authority and an inability to suffer fools. Let us say it has been a lifelong challenge – for me.
I know there are other “suffers” because I am related to some and have befriended others. The constant conversation, some might say battle, to find that sweet spot can be exhausting and yet exhilarating.
It rather proves my view that all things have benefits and drawbacks. Being able to sit quietly through a class, meeting or gathering is truly a blessing. Doing it without an eyeroll or smirk is a bit more challenging. Not blurting out some pithy phrase or witty observation is most often impossible.
My grandmother often pointed out that patience was a virtue. I cannot argue that point which only left me with the realization that most likely I was not virtuous. My impatience and audible sighs were a giveaway. I would also like to think that I successfully obscured my annoyance, judgment and false sense of superiority, but I have too many willing witnesses to make that stick.
Many years ago, as I was leaving corporate America, a place that I found especially tiresome, I shared with the owners of the printing company we used that I had believed I had managed to pass as “normal.” The owner reached her hand across the counter and sweetly said, “Oh, I wish you had asked. We would have told you that you didn’t even come close.” It was a touch disheartening to hear in that moment, but I burst out laughing and consider it to be one of the greatest compliments of my life.
I have been accused of being overly sarcastic. To quote Oscar Wilde, “It is the highest form of intellect and the lowest form of wit.” It is also the life blood of the Irish. Perhaps because it goes with the theory one should not get too big a head about them, to quote the grandmother who mentioned patience. If you grow up in a family that speaks sarcasm as a second (perhaps first) language it is hard to realize when you have drifted into the “mother tongue.” In addition, I was raised by a mother who had a highly developed love of the bizarre. That coupled with her mantra that laughter was the best way has probably left me where I am.
Back to balance. I guess there is not much hope for me to find the bubble between respect and retort. Living more in your soul rather than your ego does help. The need to react to human foibles is greatly reduced. Breaking oneself of the need to label helps as well, but I have yet to conquer the observational portion. It would be of great service if other humans would just work on their game so the final remnants of trying to “help” could leave my repertoire.
Up your game people!!!! (Typed with great love you can be sure.)
