Willfulness

How important is it to be right? How important is it to be “in control?” How does control work for you? What does control buy you or give you? How often do you do something that is not in your true best interest just to “prove” that you are in control? 

Think about this in your personal relationships. Do you want to control other people’s behaviours? Do you want to control the outcome of the situation or of most situations? Are you willing to allow that there might be a myriad of other ways to reach a solution to a problem or is there only one way – yours? What does it cost you emotionally, physically or even financially to maintain this control?  And now the most important question – Are you really in control or are you simply controlling the moment or event in front of you? Is the control real or is it imagined? 

Control rarely works over the long haul. It may work in a specific situation and it may work for a long time in your reality, but in the end you will find that most other humans do not want to be controlled. They too want to have free will and freedom to make decisions about their life and their circumstances. In the end this leads to unhappy interpersonal relationships. Most of you justify it that you “know” the best outcome and maybe you do – for you. Is it really possible to know what is best for another person? Do you know where their journey must take them?  We know that it is often very difficult to allow people you love or care about to make their own decisions because often those decisions take them away from you in some way, but the key is that they are their decisions. Life has many roads to explore and you can only take so many in any one life time so the choices are endless. 

Fear is what is behind control. It is behind all control even though it may look more like anger or power or other dominating energies. Control puts your life in what appears to be a neatly ordered box, a safe and contained space that is not too big and not too small for you to control. Then you begin to put people and events and things inside the box so that they too can be safe from all harm and fears. It does not work this way because the walls of this controlled environment are subject to breaching at anytime because other people have their own fear controlled worlds that will collide with yours and create havoc and dismay. Now, the havoc and dismay that is created is not really real, but it will seem that way to you the more you attempt to control the breech. If you allow that your life is a continuum with no ability to see the future then you will find that your grasping onto what is “real” will lessen and you will begin to glide along your life rather than go kicking, screaming and grasping your way through. 

Please sit with this lesson for a few days and watch as you begin to believe you can control something. Begin to notice the difference between putting in your input and knowledge and then allowing for the outcome. Sometimes the “allowed” outcome is far better than the controlled outcome for it exceeds your expectation. Sometimes it appears to be not what you want or think it should be, but with some time and history you might be able to see that it was, in the end, the perfect solution. 

We leave you with open hands and hearts.

Namaste

From: Going In To Find Out by Heather Cronrath